EPIPHANIES

Epiphany (noun)

       A sudden, intuitive perception or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

My visit in my hometown brought me a number of realizations and while most of it are painful and daunting, I am still comforted with the fact that there’s still something I can do about it. I once read that a person’s road to greatness starts with a purifying moment, or to put it simply – an awakening (i.e. Einstein was given a compass and his quest for science and truth began, or when Siddhartha saw a beggar outside their castle which started his pursuit for the true meaning of happiness.)

In this entry, allow me to share my so-called epiphanies. Although am exposing myself a bit much through my revelations in this article, I feel that it is something that we can all learn from.

• Epiphany 1: I don’t have any savings and I live from paycheck to paycheck. At my age, having a high-paying and exciting job in a huge multi-national company I should have stable finances already. But sadly, I have debts to pay, bills to settle and most of the time, I spend more than what my means can afford. In times of emergencies like what happened to my father, I struggle to provide and meet the needs for hospitalization, medicine and after care.

• Epiphany 2: I still have lots of plans unrealized like taking my Masters, buying my own house and lot, travel around and outside the country (I don’t even have a passport for crying out loud) or, my long overdue promise of Pangkabuhayan Showcase to my Mama. My sister even has better life management compared to me. She’s just starting with her job (she is a policewoman) but every time we need help (we meaning her immediate family) she manages to provide.

• Epiphany 3:That if am having kids it should be at least FIVE. A big and responsible family has its perks. In hard times, you have each other to lean on or share the burden most especially with regard to the financial requirements of hospitalization, medicine and after care.

If you have a big family, you can take turns in looking after the sick family member.

If you have a big family, you have someone who can help you make decisions over crucial situations.

If you have a big family, you don’t cry alone, in your solitude, when no
one is watching. It’s difficult when you’re only two in the family and the
eldest for that matter.

• Epiphany 4: That I should have kids. My own flesh and blood. Any takers?

• Epiphany 5: It really doesn’t matter if I have only a few friends for as long as they are like family. It dawned on me that I should choose friends. Friends who will visit me when am sick. Friends who will share their time. Friends who will comfort and assure my immediate family that they are not alone in this battle.

• Epiphany 6: When I die, I want it to be quick. Fast. Painless. I don’t want to suffer and in the process, see my family suffer.

I am not sure how to end this entry. Perhaps as what the title of this entry suggests, I should start taking action over my life and make radical changes, not only for myself but for also for the people who will be, in one way or another, affected by my deeds. Cliché as it may sound, but sometimes it takes a powerful experience such as an ailing family member to bring you to Earth and examine what you have been doing to your life.

With a prayerful heart, things will get better.